When my world came crashing down
This man right here is my entire world. This past October we received the most amazing news!! We would be parents! I made an adorable video surprising him with the news!You know the videos most of us watch on YouTube about baby reveals and bawl our eyes out.. Lol.. We were so excited at five weeks we decided to tell our immediate family and closest friends.. A week later I had a gut feeling something isn't quite right.. but I just ignored it! Fast forward to November first.. I felt a gush in my underwear and I just knew .. I went to the bathroom and saw the blood..I was heartbroken but decided to remain hopeful and head to the hospital.. My husband was there just minutes after me.. we then went through the rollercoaster of emotions over the next 24 hours to find out I was indeed losing our baby.. I was Inconsolable and then i had just checked out.. I had no emotion I was so devistated .. but he was right there.. down to the ultrasound learning my sac was empty .. He was hurting just as much but stayed strong enough to pick me up and carry me on.. I ended up opting for the d and c three weeks later bc it wasn't happening naturally and I was ready to start my healing process..its been over six months since we lost our little one.. My due date would have been June 11th.. which will always hold a special date in my heart..For all you beautiful woman going through this trauma right now.. the pain doesn't go away.. we always remember but I promise it does get better.. it does get easier❤.. This month will be our first real month trying for our rainbow baby.. I'm fortunate enough to have a SO who loves all my faults.. looks at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world.. I find myself often looking at him when he can't see and my heart just becomes so full because I wonder how lucky I must be to deserve this man.. he works so hard to give us the best life possible..the selfless things he does just to put a smile on my face.... Some people in the world are not fortunate to be blessed with their own little ones.. this possibility scared me at times wondering if I couldn't give him children .. would he not love me one day?..would he leave? But no.. he's in this for the long haul and whether we have children one day or no.. we are a team! At times our life may not be pretty.. and we disagree and argue but we are human.. I love him more than myself more than life itself..I'm not perfect and have so many faults.. but if there is one thing in my life I can do right is make sure this wonderful man knows how much I truly love and appreciate him everyday.. I hope one day everyone is blessed in their life with finding their own "Claude john"