Bonded?

Question

So every time I go for a check up (I'm 14 weeks) my Doctor asks if I'm bonded to my baby yet.  I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that I suffered an episode of antenatal depression very early on.   I still feel guilty saying "no", but I'm being honest.  Im happy about being pregnant (most days), but it's so love changing and I'm just not attached yet.

Do all you ladies out there feel bonded so early?  I mean, I can't see myself feeling that way until much later on.

Answer

What a strange question for him to ask you, in my opinion. With my first I didn't feel truly bonded until a few days after she was born. Don't get me wrong, I had this primal need during pregnancy and right after that I had to take care of this baby above all else, but I didn't 'know' her yet, I couldn't picture her or our life clearly. I was also desperately scared I'd lose the baby and I think that made me cautious bonding during pregnancy. I think it will happen earlier with this baby because I know a bit more what to expect, but I don't know the sex yet, and can't visual this baby as an individual person yet. How can I bond with it already?

Answer

I'm 14 weeks tomorrow and will admit I'm not bonded with my baby. I can't bond with something I can't even tell exists. Maybe when I feel kicks and find out the gender I will feel more connected, but right now I just feel unsure about it.

Answer

I'm sorry your doc is asking you that, when Mamas bond varies greatly and it's all normal. If you're up to it, you could ask the doc to stop asking you. There are many things providers do that aren't critical and we can choose to not have them done, this is one of them. Kudos for being honest!! You'll bond when it's time, whether babe is on board or earth side.

Answer

No. I'm 14 weeks. Not bonded. Hard to admit it. I feel like it makes me a bad person. This is a long waited and planned pregnancy. I'm so glad I'm finally pregnant. But no I'm not bonded. I don't feel overly maternal joyful. Most of the days I'm happy. Some days I struggle with my body changes.

Answer

Honestly I didnt feel bonded with my son until after he was born, and even that wasn't right away, he was in nicu for a week and I wasn't able to be with all the time and was surrounded by nurses. After I got home I slowly started to feel the bond happening. I'm pregnant with my second child now and I'm 14 weeks and I'm feeling the same way. Happy but it's still early. I haven't felt any movement so sometimes I just forget I'm pregnant. As I get farther along I get more excited and then after birth we will bond like my son and I did and we will all be inseparable.

Answer

I feel like it's the same as being asked if you're bonded with the baby you're adopting but never met.

Answer

Not everyone bonds before baby arrives. I have bonded deeply, I love my little tatertot to pieces.

Bonded?

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