PPD and College

Angelyene

I am a mom of two and my son is about 7 weeks old and my daughter is 2.5. I am on effexor and i have been in therapy for about 2 weeks.

This has been one of the hardest things i have ever been through. I have had basically every symptom there is. Major loss of appetite, I'm talking maybe 600 calories a day, random crying, emptiness, anxiety, guilt, feeling like a complete failure, having apathy but then anxiety about the apathy, etc. Im really struggling with my daughter and these terrible twos, it makes me feel like im a horrible mother because her tantrums are so bad and frustrating.

Anyways, i have been in school for my bachelors for about 2 years all online. Between having a new baby, this horrible post partum depression, my 2 year old, school, and working i feel spread so thin with absolutely no time for anything which i feel like is contributing to my depression.

I have considered changing my degree to an associates instead and being done. But this also makes me feel like a horrible failure because i had the goal of finishing my bachelors and i keep telling myself people do this all the time and why cant i do this, why am i struggling so bad.

I am wondering if anyone is in this situation and what they might have done. Or if anyone has any advice because i am having a very hard time and i just dont know what direction to take.