Hey all! I haven't posted in a while because I took a step back. It's been LIBERATING! I have started to see things from a new perspective.

After spending the last 10 years of my life being a child care giver and the past few years trying to conceive, I've finally come to a state of peace! I am seeing all the benefits of NOT having children. I am a stepmother to an AMAZING 11 year old boy, whom I've been involved with since he was 4 years old. I love my sweet stepson and am so grateful for him. He has some extra needs and I mainly take care of those now...(long story)...and I am more than happy to do it! I have also been helping to raise other people's children for YEARS. I'm burnt out on diapers, messes, bathtimes, school schedules, sports schedules, etc. I just keep thinking about having to start ALL over again if we keep trying and then actually have a child. It so much work and money! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE children and would make a great mom. I know this. I'm just starting to realize that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I stayed child free (by choice or some medical reason) like I thought it would be before. I am happy now. I will be happy the rest of my days, with or without children. I guess, all-in-all, I'm trying to say that this ttc thing is over for me. My husband and I are going to get back to having sex for the fucking fun of it and I'm not even going to track or think about procreating anymore! I'm ready to just live my life, raise my (step)son, love my husband, and be fully content and happy with what we have now! I encourage anyone struggling with depression or anxiety and stress from ttc to take a month or more off to stop thinking about it completely! Eat what you want, drink what you want, exercise, don't exercise, whatever! You might change your perspective or at least find some peace and sanity. I know I have and I am SO THANKFUL for it! 😘