On a break...

My boyfriend and I are taking a break because I found some gross texts between him and some girl on KIK. When I confronted him he said he did it because he wants to marry me and wanted to see if he could just be with me forever. 
Like, I'm not perfect either. I've made mistakes so I tried to move past it but he kept fighting with me over a bunch of bull.
So I left the house we lived in together and I'm at my parents. And we decided to take a break so I could sort some things out. I don't know what to do. 
I want to be with him but I also do not. I love him so much and I want us to work out. But at the same time I want some freedom to be myself.
I am so upset and confused.
And he said if I did anything with anyone else during the break to never speak to him again. 
I don't know what to do. 
I just would appreciate any sort of advice or maybe someone has a similar story to share? Thank you.