Starting the adoption process soon...

Can anyone give any insight on their personal experience with adopting? I think we are leaning towards domestic infant adoption so that we will have the child as a newborn. The only problem is we don't have 40k to pay for it. How do I go about paying for it? I know there are grants but most you cannot get until you are done with the homestudy, which is a couple thousand that we dont have. Is a go fund me site for adoption worth it? I feel like I'm looking at an impossible option, but it's the only option we are comfortable with after trying to conceive for 4 years. I know with foster to adopt, it is practically free, but I don't want an older child. It will be my first and we want to start from the beginning and have the baby be adopted right from the start. We don't feel comfortable waiting a year or more to finalize. It just seems like an uphill battle and we haven't even started yet.