I feel the same way as you. And I constantly think of ending it. But I never end it, you know why? Last year I attempted to hang my self & my dog found me in the back yard, somehow he got my moms attention and led her to me. My sister ran to the back as well. Next thing I remember is everyone around me crying and holding me. All of my family who loves me more than love it self. I lived. I couldn't talk for 2 weeks because I hurt my throat so bad. What if I would've died?? I saw my family when I survived but I can't fathom the thought of how they'd react if I actually died that night. All of my family and my friends and my neighbors, even my DOG were affected. 😩😭💔 How could I have been so selfish to take my own life?? I found god shortly after. And I thank god every day that he gave me another chance at life on this green earth. God gave me another chance for redemption. God gave me another chance to seek his forgiveness and to find my true happiness in him. And I thank god for every day he gives me another chance to see my loved ones, another hour he gives me to see this green earth, feel my heart beat through my chest, breathe in the oxygen, taste the food he has blessed me with, & hear the birds chirping in the mornings. Another minute he gives me of being able to seek his help, and another second he gives me to realize how much he loves his perfect creation, which is us humans. I understand how you're feeling. We all have emotions that run deep through our blood and these feelings we can't just shake off sometimes. But god will never give us more than we can bare. This is just a test for us all. And hopefully if we pass it, we go to heaven and in heaven we will have our eternal peace and love and happiness and all the good we can ever imagine. Please flush those pills down the toilet, put that razor down, throw it all away & never look back. I love you and care for you and FEEL FOR YOU so much & I don't even know you. Give life another shot, for god & for your self. 

If you need to talk don't hesitate, I'm here.