How much stain did having a baby put on your relationship with your partner?

Question

Answer

I voted closer but there's more to it than that.

When I gave birth to our first I got lost in motherhood and my relationship was put on the back burner. We stopped trying for romance, stopped trying to spend time together, stopped going on dates and if we went out we always took our son. This went on for a year and a half and shortly after the birth of my second, something finally broke. We argued all the the time, didnt put any effort into our relationship and we separated for 6 weeks believing that we were over. But we got back together after realizing that at our core we loved each other and were both going to do everything to make our family work. And so we try to make caring for our relationship as important as caring for our kids. And it works. I feel as close to him now as I did before we had children and even more in love as we raise our children.

As long as you make tkme for each other and you both are putting equal amount of effort in making your relationship work (this means sharing chores and parental responsibilities in ways that make you both happy, as well as keeping open communication) then having kids doesnt make it that bad.

Answer

We had a baby and got married within a year of meeting. We were 26 and 29 when out daughter was born. Issues got brought up that we didn't have the foundation to deal with and we separated a few times. Boundaries weren't set with the in-laws either and that put significant strain as well. Somehow, we managed to find our footing, but it wasn't easy. We're now 4 months away from baby #2 and stronger than ever.

How much stain did having a baby put on your relationship with your partner?

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