confessions from a miscarriage survivor

Penny
I had a miscarriage in march I was about 4-5 weeks...I've tried to convince my husband to try for a baby, but it was an unexpected pregnancy while I was on birthcontrol. 
I'm off that now, and he knows that. During my latest ovulation cycle he slipped and never pulled out and now I'm dying inside hoping and praying I've become pregnant again. It's all I want, and if I'm not I'm afraid it may devistate me all over again😭 
I'm not looking to replace the baby I lost, but up until that moment, I had no clue that I wanted another baby so badly, and now it's all I can think about. I'm over analyzing every twinge, feeling, headache, and everything and no matter how hard I try to put it aside, I just can't. Plz tell me I'm not alone...