I haven't stopped crying. I have a horomone problem that my doctor is trying to get to the bottom of. I'm alone in a different country with only 2 friends who have their own lives and partners and my own partner. I used to suffer really bad with depression and anxiety until I got counciling which helped a lot. I find it hard to trust people and when I met my SO I trusted him so easily. He broke that trust by messaging his baby mama messages slagging me off, saying he'd leave me for her, that he loved her, wished they could sleep together again and play happy family's. he was messaging a 16 year old saying how I was shit in bed and done the same things all the time, meeting up with her for apparent smokes. He even said that my friend should share our bed while she found somewhere to stay, or we should all go into bed and watch tv, during sex we were talking dirty (his fantasy is a threesome) and he said oh your friends there we should ask her in. Like really? It was just bedroom talk but to say something like that? Then we were on our date night he was telling me about his friends ex and said to me "I thought you were crazy" I lash out quite a bit, I've a lot of angry and hate inside me. I'm so confused on what to do. I want to go home so bad but I don't have a good relationship with my parents so now I feel lost and lonely. I actually think the best place for me would be dead. I feel useless