My fiance an I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 almost 4years now. And nothing has happened. My period is so off that it just literally starts whenever I can't keep track of it I'll end up being two weeks late or a week early. It hasn't been normal for 1 year now. My husband had surgery when he was little down there and has a very low chance of having kids. But there's always a chance that the miracle can happen. And because my period is so off I always pray that it could be that chance. I never know what's going on all I can do is test or wait for my little cramps that show up a day or two before I start. Well right now I am in that waiting time praying it doesn't show up but I'm pretty sure I'm starting to feel those cramps. And usually I'm like OK well my period is coming we can always still try and it will happen sooner or later. But right now as I'm feeling those little light cramps I just want to start balling cuz all I can think about is how I will never feel our baby growing inside me , I won't be able to feel the kicks even the contractions. I won't be able to give birth and see our little ball of joy or hold it for the first time. And figure out who they look alike the most. I know I shouldn't be thinking about this but it's hard especially when you have siblings and friends calling or texting telling me what there baby just learned and how they would do it all over again and it was the best thing that has happened to them. And I'm not saying I wanna leave my fiance cuz he can't give me a baby. I could never do that I'm crazy about him and I know he wants one too. I'm saying its hard to keep your head up and keep trying when you know you have a low chance. But right now I'm waiting for my period to show and am currently feeling very very lite cramps. 😭

Sorry this is so long I just needed to get everything out ... thanks for reading it tho.