SOS what would you do????

Question

I'm having a frigging crisis and I'm mad so I can't think straight and would like some input.

I'm a stay at home mom while my fiance works two jobs because he gets paid more than I would if I worked.

My best friend is a single mom who's struggling very badly so we let her live with us for free. She doesn't have a license or state ID so she can't work until she gets one. Also no high school diploma bc she got pregnant her senior year.

Her daughter is two and constantly throwing shit fits and doesn't listen. She's here Monday-Friday.

My roommate is always going on the porch to smoke.

A month ago her daughter drew all over our kitchen table and other things with sharpie. Luckily I got most of it off.

Two days ago my fiancé and I were out and when we got back her daughter had drawn all over everything with a crayon including our brand new 65" tv.

We got it off but it's not the point. First of all, that's our luxury item. Our one nice thing. We only make about $10k a year. Second, she admitted she was not watching her daughter for 20 minutes. She felt really bad and even cried, we talked it out and everything was fine. I get that shit happens and you don't realize how much time is going by, whatever.

Now two days later. (This happened Sunday) it's Tuesday and I was out of town last night. I just got home and they're out at the park and there is once again crayon on everything including the tv and it's also sticky with something like syrup.

WHAT DO I DO???

Am I a mega bitch if I tell her she has to go to her baby daddy's on weekdays to watch her kid there and not at my house? I love her daughter she's like my neice but she gets into shit every time my fiancé and I aren't home.

Please give me your opinions

Answer

I would give her a timeline to at the very least to get her things together so she can work. Then a timeline to get a job.

If she can't I would tell her she needs to leave. It's enabling if she can't get her stuff together whil she's with you.

Answer

She needs to move out, she obviously does not respect your kindness. Kids are kids but she's not paying enough attention or taking appropriate actions if things like this continue to happen.

Answer

She not respecting you or your home at all. Even if an accident like this happened she should have cleaned it up, not gone out to the park and left it that way! She's a guest in your house because of your kindness but she leaves her messes for you to clean? 
Best friend or not that's just thoughtless and inappropriate.

Answer

Not have her as a roommate

Answer

They need to go

Answer

I would give her a timeline to move out. Once could be an accident but continuously ruining items and admitting she just doesn't pay attention is a no.

Answer

You have to worry about your own happiness

Answer

Well she's been here for months now. I can understand from her position why she hasn't gotten a job but at this point the only thing standing in her way is herself. I just feel hypocritical because I'm a stay at home mom and telling her to get a job, but my fiancé and I discussed it and we decided together that it's what's best for the both of us. Agggh I'm so stressed

Answer

Never combine households. Give a friend a couch for a few days, fine. But living together NEVER works.

Answer

Okay to me a true best friend would not do this ! Me and my husband stays a night at my best friends house because she lives out of state . And in return for opening her house to us we bought her son food (she wasn't hungry at the time) and we also went and did kid friendly things as well .. she would never take advantage of me like that nor would I her !  I would not call her a best friend .. honestly I had a friend like that and she even called my wedding a sham and that I would regret my marriage. I quit talking to her and omg my life have changed so much ! (In a good way ) maybe you need to do this .. it is hard but good may come out of it

SOS what would you do????

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