Basically I just want to share my experience for anyone else who might be having giant WTF moments after coming off BC and TTC. 

I'm 28. I got glow all of 25ish days ago just after my last af. I took my last BC pill just before that AF and it had been like counting down to Christmas! I couldn't wait to start TTC!! It was a case of this month and that month would be bad so May is our month to start trying! I was so excited. I discovered glow. I learnt about OPK's and BBT. I found my cervix and discovered what my CM is actually telling me. I was determined. I had no idea when AF would show up again, I'd been on BC since 2008- pill- implanon (bad bad bad)- pill. I had no idea when id ovulate. 

So I just had this giant dip in BBT and I was getting faint but not positive lines on my OPK's and I was so excited!!!!!! I thought my body was finally sorting its shit out! Even today I've had slightly darker OPK's but still not quite a positive. And then there was today...

So last night we did the BD and there was a little red tinge in the loo roll after which isn't a total surprise, it happens. This morning I woke up feeling so motivated and positive! Then I got up, went to the loo, pissed in a cup and got a massive shock. I actually thought I had blood in my wee because my cup was bright red! I tipped it out and wiped and there was blood everywhere... I emptied the rest of my bladder into the cup and there wasn't as much of a pink tinge. Not quite positive OPK. But seriously WTF? I woke up a bit more and realised I had blood all down my legs. I went straight to my bed and looked at the mattress. It looked like a murder scene!!!! At this moment my mom rang me for apparently the 2nd time this morning. She was one her way over to collect my dog so I quickly whiped some pants on and got my dog ready. I only had a panty liner on...  that soaked through as did my pants. Mother even 'complimented' me on the state of my house and I was just thinking SERIOUSLY! You have no idea what I woke up to today!!!! 

After she left I decided first things first- shower. I had to bin the undies and soak the pants. I put my Juju cup (menstrual cup) in and went about cleaning up the murder scene in my bedroom. I had to google 'how to get blood out of a mattress' and ended up covered in stain remover and cornstarch because I wouldn't even know where to buy hydrogen peroxide. While this was going on I managed to soak undies #2. My cup didn't leak, it was the residue on my vaginal lining that leaked out! Shoulda wiped better... my cup filled up 3 times today, more than ever before. It is honest to god the consistency of wine. From google I have decided it's just my hormones being stupid and trying to get back to normal.

I have also had sore boobs, sore nipples, headaches, fatigue, nausea, cramps and a majorly increases libido in my first 2 weeks post AF after the pill. I'm not even sure if this is actually AF right now or if my body is still playing mean tricks on me. Glow is even being mean- all of last month looks like a serious blood fest but I only had spotting on 4 days. Somehow things got confused moving from one month to the next, IDK.

Today all I wanted to do was cry. I woke up so happy, eager to see if my OPK would be a strong positive. Ha no. If this is AF I am actually happy to know I'm somewhat regulated but seriously! Wine consistency! WTF. I have 2 assignments due tomorrowfor university and I spent half today washing my stupid mattress. Yes I should have probably started them earlier but I wasn't counting on waking up covered in my own blood. 

So if you are in your first month TTC or more and confused by what your body is telling you- you are not alone. I actually feel broken. Like I don't work properly. And now all I can do is laugh while sipping on my nice big glass of Merlot!! 

Love and baby dust to all!