So this is a weird post. I am 19, I have a 1 year old and another daughter who passed away 7 months ago. I am married and my entire life I have kept to myself because I was mentally and physically abused by my mother. Anyways, I never had friends in school, never joined any clubs. I loved to dance but could never join because I was the "loner" fast forward, I'm now graduated. I don't work. I don't have to because I take care of the house and kids and my husband makes more than enough but I also don't work because I'm scared. I hide myself inside all day. Hell I don't even want to go outside to get the mail in case the neighbors see me. I keep my head down in public to avoid any conversation. I've completely isolated myself and I don't know why. It's almost like.. a fear? I'm in college and I see myself in the future doing something amazing, saving people, the girl that dresses up and is confident but then I think about actually doing it and I shut down again. I have gone as far as to considering quitting college because what's the point if when the times comes, I won't beable to bring myself to go to an interview and face someone?