I hate that I am affected, from a young age, by something intrinsically sexual, 'womanly', something meant to produce children. I don't want to look at the blood, or the eggs, or think that something inside me is ripping itself apart. I don't want to think that there is something inside me capable of being impregnated and creating a child. I don't want to be so closely drawn to my sexuality and my biological sex. It makes me want to throw up. 

I hate everything about this. If there was a way to make it stop, to get rid of everything there and to stop the mood swings and the eggs and the uterus, I would. I'd take that magic pill and stop thinking about gender and sex and all that and just live my life. 

(sorry)