Please help...don't know how to get over this!!!! 😭💔😭💔

I broke up with my boyfriend 5months ago...we were together for 6.5 years and I lost my vriginity with him on the age of 28. I waited 28 years as I wanted to give it to my husband. I believed with my whole heart and soul that we would get married and he also said he wants to marry me...so I gave it to him. After I left because he is disrespectful, will swear at me and call me names like I'm a retard or I am p**** stupid...or anything like that. If we have a fight he will stay away for upto 3 days at a time...the only time he is lovey dovey is when we are talking about having sex. Other times he doesn't give me attention. He also used drugs and said he stopped...but all the signs were there that he was still using...but he kept lying about it. Then I broke up with him. Now 5 months later...he made me believe it was all my fault for him acting the way he did because I'm insecure and don't trust him. He made me believe that he wanted to give us another chance if I change..but then he still lies to me telling me he doesn't go out but his car is not home and his phone is off the whole evening then 00:30 his phone is on again? Then he tells me it's my issues and it's not his problem he was sleeping infront of the TV...but his car is not home and if you were sleeping infront of the TV why switch your phone off and then switch it on at 00:30??? I know he is toxic for me...I know he will always be a druggie..but I don't know how to let go. How do I let someone go that took EVERYTHING from me...my most treasured possession...my virginity??? I am 32 now..living with my parents again...how do I forget about him???? I am sooooo broken....please can anyone help????