I've realized ttc isn't easy, taking medicines and dieting exercise, all that determination for what? I dont know if it's just hopelessness, or my mood today. My husband wants a child and we were so excited about it. I don't really have any friends or anyone to talk to. I go out to eat by myself on Fridays, while my husband works, sometimes my sister will tag along. Today I chopped off my hair, just to try something different, and I love it. But I still feel like something's missing. Like I have a hole. I want a baby, I really do, but I feel like I want one because I'm so lonely, and my husband shows me his love, but sometimes it's not enough. Maybe I want a baby because I'm lonely.