12 days until due date

So I remember way back that I cried and cried about how I wanted to feel the pain and discomforts of pregnancy. After 3mc I was convinced I would never be a mom. Fast forward almost 9 months and I'm dying to no longer be pregnant. The fear of losing my son hasn't gone away. I still always check for bleeding and worry when he doesn't kick all day. The fear doesn't go away at 12 weeks. 
Sorry for such randomness. Very tired, uncomfortable and hormonal pregnant woman praying labor starts any second.