*Apologies for the dodgy cropping in the photos, I live in dorms and don't want to risk anyone recognising my room/me!*

I'm 19, 177cm (~5'10"), 74kg (~163lbs)

I wear a size 12 UK (or 8 USA)

I've struggled with my confidence and my weight my whole life. At my biggest I was maybe 167cm (5'6") and 82kg (181lbs) and a size 16 (12 in the US).

I don't think there's anything wrong with loving your body whatever the size and that's definitely far healthier mentally than how I've been my whole life, hating myself. I'm really struggling though because my dad is fit even at 60, my older sister is gorgeous and slim (model-type), my younger brother is slim and my mum used to be naturally very, very thin before she had kids. I feel like I missed out with the genes and growing up comparing myself to my siblings and old photos of my mum made my hate myself, doesn't help my dad used to call me fat and tell me to lose weight all the time 😒

I was thinking the other day though that I'm scared I won't like my body even if I do lose weight because I saw someone on here on another post say that they gained weight after losing it because being slim didn't suit them. I can already feel my ribs and hips quite easily and people joke that I have bony shoulders if they lean on me. I do like my butt and I'm worried I'll lose it if I manage to lose weight :/ I'm also a 36D and I'm scared I'll be a lot smaller as well because my sister and mum are both A-cups and I actually do like having boobs this size, it's the ONE thing about myself that my sister doesn't have which is superficial I know but it's the only thing that stops me from feeling unattractive when I'm with her. At the same time though I hate everything else so it might be worth the risk? I'm also constantly preoccupied with how self-conscious I am and I hate it :/

I've also really struggled for years to figure out my weight and I seem to have settled at this for a year or two so maybe we all have healthy weights' for our own bodies and they're all different? What do you think?

Does every person have their own healthy and natural weight which they can keep at without work and look best at? Or can everyone look good slim and should I just lose the weight and not worry about it?