dads dying
My father is dying of cancer. He has maybe 6 months left. Me and my brother are upset because we can't make peace with him. Let's just say... over the last few years he's gotten very brainwashed and racist and he's become an entirely different man than the one who raised us.
He has serious paranoia. He keeps saying everyone wants him dead. He keeps fighting with everyone about everything. He's saying racist, crazy things about the hospital staff. (Example, he said that his Asian American doctor probably went to school in "Mongolia.") it makes it very difficult to be around him in general. And forget about making peace with him. There's things from our childhood that we're very difficult for us. He battled addiction his whole life, lost jobs, lost our house, said horrible things to us while drunk (threatening to burn down the house and kill us).
Both of us don't want him to die without making peace but how do you make peace with someone who has totally lost their mind? Like, I told him not to say mean things about he hospital staff and he told me "you're just a liberal millennial. You don't know anything and I'm sick of you telling me I'm mean."
I haven't seen him in a while but today I went to see him to sign hospice and POA paperwork and it was an emotionally exhausting nightmare.
How can we make peace with someone who isn't mentally okay?
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