so my baby is a month old now (4 and half weeks roughly) had a fair few stitches when i had him (partner said he thinks it was about 10 as tore really badly) had last midwife appt yesterday and she said that i should be all healed up down there now and offered to look i declined as 1) it didnt feel right someone ive got so close to as such to look down there and 2) i was scared something was going to be wrong 3) im also scared to look down there myself ( havent done in the last month.... as im scared it will look horrible down there, as i dont like the thought of stitches anyway or it wont look how it did before) i also scared to let my partner look down there just incase it looks horrible (even though he saw it while i was still torn and not stitched up as the nurses had to ask what it sort of looked like before as i tore that bad) ....im wanting to wait until my 8 week check up until someone looks at it down there aka the doc/nurse who i have the appt with...its not sore or uncomfortable etc so im sure its ok and not infected etc but i still scared mostly just incase it looks horrible and not normal down there as i dont no what kind of stitching skills they have if you get me ....help