Just needed a safe place to vent

Our journey to have our little girl was a long one. 2 miscarriages, many scared moments  during the pregnancy. Ending in the hospital for a month and half, giving birth early. Leaving without your child b.c she still need time, having her come home to just end back in the hospital. Such a long journey, so me and my husband decided not to try for another one. After a couple months of having her home, and even with all the bad times we went through. I couldn't help but think I really would like to try again. Not b.c of all the annoying people who keep say "oh you should try again for a boy" even though they know all the trouble we went through just to have the one, (still pisses me off to no end). But I really wanted another one, for my self, b.c I want another one to care for, to love and to hold. So when I talked it over with my husband, he said "No, I thought we agreed on no more." I asked him to give me 5 reasons why. I do have to amight they were really good reasons. So I lied and agreed with him no more kids, even though deep down I still want another. Thank you for letting me vent.