Okay last night i made a huge mistake. I hung out with some friends and eventually we chilled at one of their houses. We were playing video games and then watched Saw IV. One of my best friends sat beside me, which led to us lying down and cuddling. Weird thing was my two other friends were right across from us and one of them had to keep reminding us to keep it PG-13. At first, I was foreshadowing something was gonna happen but I pushed it aside. We were those friends who enjoyed foolin around. He would mess up my makeup a little bit and ruin my hair, we made each other laugh a little. We had the kind of relationship where we could be silly and love each other still. But I remember looking him in the eyes and I was like "is this actually gonna happen or am I daydreaming or something?" Eventually, he found his way onto my neck and i felt his lips press against it. At first, i was in denial and i was like, he is probably not kissing it. So i just ignored him and kept watching the movie. Since it was a horror movie, he was really scared so I just assumed he was hiding away from the TV screen. Eventually, his lips trailed up to my lips and thats where it all happened. And lets just say I was expecting that. His hands went everywhere. He guided his hand up my thigh, slowly until he reached my ass, squeezing it firmly. I brought it down a little, but he kept going up. Later on, he started pecking my neck again and I felt a little bite and pushed him a way a little because I did not want him leaving any marks. He choked me and pulled my hair. He started going lower until he reached my breast and was still kissing. I grabbed the back of his neck, pushing him towards me. Eventually, we were interrupted by our friends and pulled away. He gave me three last kisses on my cheek and thats when i was sure that i fucked up. I was sure that he was going to catch feelings. But whats uncertain is if i do. Like i liked it, i will admit it. On the other hand, theres so many reasons why I cant be with him. First of all, he is my best friend and i dont date my best friends. I remember i used to talk to one guy, we would talk for hours and he made opening up to him so easy. But then we dated and ended this on bad terms. And i cant have those conversations with him anymore. I cant be on good terms with him. I cant fuck up another friendship because of my feelings. And all my other friends cant deal with that. As well, i enjoy being single. And i know i will sound like a slut after this but i like hooking up. My entire life, i have feared commitment because my last few relationships didnt turn out good for me. Plus he got out of a relationship recently too. And im friends with his ex, we dont have beef. I dont want to get paged because of the spur of the moment. I dont even know for sure if i like him, its all unclear for me. The kiss was spontaneous. As romantic and great it was, i cant do any of this. I remember walking home, not even taking the bus because i thought i would be able to figure stuff out but went with the assumption that it was all a dream. And then i arrived home and found a hickey on my neck. My first hickey was from my best friend. And thats when i couldnt forgive myself. What do i do?