mother problems...

Hi guys, 
I am currently in my bathroom crying due to mother issues... so I'm going to start by saying my mom is an alcoholic, but she is a very lovey enthusiastic likes to touch people ( she's a massage therapist ) person. I'm 21 and home from Norway right now and she comes into my room baby talking to me and jumping on my bed trying to hug me.. and I'm just wanting to sleep ( I'm not super touchy with her or my dad due to trust reasons) and then when I pushed her away as she walked away she told me " I could die tonight or tomorrow and your going to regret this. I remember my mom telling me that ," I hope you get a daughter just like you." And I did and that was your sister.. ( my sister died of cervical cancer) and I hope you never get a daughter like you. " and then she left after I tried to explain that I don't see love as getting hugs and baby talk from her.. and then she just left me crying.. and now I am in my bathroom thinking about what a crap daughter I am.. and feeling all sorts of guilty.. but also just thinking that I am not the type of person to jump on someone and give them hugs or cuddle with my parents or anyone else really besides my boyfriend you know? So please ladies help me.. because I feel like my
Mother hates me and wishes that my sister was here with her instead of me.. :,(