Sorry if this post is too lengthy... I've been dating this guy for 5 years. When his mom died a year ago he picked up a bad drinking habit and became abusive. He would just shove me in the beginning but up until this second it's gotten worse. I have marks, I have bruises, I have cuts from getting beer bottles thrown at me. I'm terrified of this man and I have to leave because I just found out i'm pregnant not far along but nonetheless, pregnant. He doesn't know that i'm pregnant because I've decided not to tell him. Honestly I thought about leaving him and aborting the baby, but I have no way out. My family lives states away. My boyfriend usually cries to me and apologize and says he'll get help but then... it happens again. He says ugly things to me, getting beaten has lowered my self esteem, almost to the point where i'm waiting for him to just kill me. I have nothing. I feel like nothing. My life feels like it's flashing before my eyes. Why me?😞