Was just 8years old when my mum would go to work living my siblings I in the care of our next door neighbor and each time that happens, he will get my siblings something to keep them busy or even send them out and take me in his room lock up the door ,touch me all over,insert his fingers in me and also try to insert his dick , the first time that happened I tried to tell my mum but she didn't listen cos to her I was just a kid ...on the hand he threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone about what was going on so this continued till a time when he succeeded in inserting his dick and this was terrible ,I was in pain kept begging him to stop but he continued after he was done he put down and cleaned me up then asked me to walk but one would know that there was something wrong from my step so he asked me to pretend to be sleeping when mum gets back which I did ...around 10yrs I told him I wanted it to stop but this time he will drag me forceful to his room with a knife in his hand and rape me over and over again without pity....at 13yrs we moved out that neighborhood, I was relieved but hated guys all through my school days but somehow there was an exception cos I was in the same class with this guy and each time the teacher would pair us up for some work although I hated him at first but one thing lead to another we started dating at 16yrs but it was an odd one till after high school...at 20yrs We got into college together he started asking for sex which am am so scared of doing... He sees me as a virgin and I haven't told him of my past.. currently am 22yrs haven't been able to have sex yet each time I sleep I have dreams of the past that scares me and I haven't been able to open to anyone close and each time I see the beast guy I feel so angry , furious and scared still