Why does it have to be so hard?

How do people cope with losses? I tried for 5 years to get pregnant and just as i had give up hope i got pregnant it was like a miracle, only for me to give birth early and he passed away at nearly 2 weeks old... i dont understand what i have done in this life to deserve it and i know im not alone but it doesnt make me feel any better.. im tryin again now as its all i can think about but its just not happening (apart from a chemical pregmancy last month) i feel like all hope is shattered at the moment and i dont know if i should just give up and be happy that those 2 weeks was the only time i was meant to be a mum and it happened so i could experience that 😭😭 sorry for posting but i feel like i needed to vent as iv stopped telling people how i feel anymore incase they are sick of me and im just pretending im happy to wait till its the right time 😳😳