Rant.

I'm sure you read/see these all the time so if you're sick of seeing the "everyone's pregnant but me" post...stop reading. If you're still here this phrase has become a too regular thought in my head. I have been married for 3years and I'm hitting 26 this year and all of my cousins above 16 has at least 1 baby.. most have 2 or more. My dad and cousin made a bet when I was going to have one...they both lost. (They don't know I've been seeing a fertility specialist). Most of my family thinks we just don't want kids. I have 4 cousins, 5 friends and a handful of classmates from High School expecting right now. This is a lot! Now it's like every mom on FB knows how I feel and all I see is the "I'm so glad I'm a Mom" or "I couldn't imagine a life without my kids" type of posts... I've sworn off FB for awhile. I'm now in the "why the hell am I trying" phase. I know why but how can I possibly pick myself back up every month?!? I've been doing it for almost 3 years. I think it gets better but it doesn't. When am I going to get knocked down so much that I just stay there? I stress about 1 day a month and guess what day it is... the day I want to vent and cry and just be depressed and take it out on anyone. I know tomorrow I'll be trying with all the hope in the world once again until this day comes next month. Sorry I need to vent and I have no one to talk to.