I'm losing grip. I try my best to be what everyone else would like to be. I guess I don't really know who I am. I want to be loved and I don't care if I have to change myself for it and that scares me. I'm not that woman. I know I will never be that woman but that woman is in me. I've never seen a confident or secure woman. I want to be that woman. I'm desperate for something of my own. It'll keep me motivated. I need to stay on track but these people are stealing my joy. They're laughing at my bad days. They're my family. The people I do anything for. We're falling apart and I'm losing myself in the rubble. No good times. Only fooling me and throwing my feelings around as if it's all a joke. Wishing I could find some happiness that'll keep me going. I'm just followed by disappointment. Wanting better days but welcoming the bad as if that's what I deserve. I'm fed up. I'm dying. I'm giving up. Better days will come, right?