Advice on what to do about my boyfriend?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I talked to him about a commitment and he said he wants to make sure he financially stable to provide for a family. Which I understand but I'm able to work and help out with the bills. I just think a engagement is the next step after 3 years. I would be happy with a long engagement for some reason in his head when I tell him this he thinks I want to get married have a baby in less than a year. I feel like a shitty girlfriend for giving him a ultamadium but I'm 28 years old and can't wait forever. What would you do in my situation? Any advice, would help thanks!

Answer

My advice would be you should tell him you love him dearly, but you have goals which includes you getting married and having a child down the road. With my current husband I had this talk we dated for 5 years and sat him down and told him that I didn't want to be a gf for the rest of my life so I told him it's now or I'm going to find someone that wanted the same goals as me. I think your doing the right thing and sorry to say but some men need a push in to commitment because they hate change. I wish you the best girl!

Answer

I would tell him a time frame in which I'm comfortable. You know you want to engaged or married before you're 30. That gives him time to think, get a ring, decide when he's comfortable and also gives him a clear time frame. If he's not comfortable talking about it in the next year or 2 then I'd ask why.

Answer

I agree sit down with him and talk out your goals.  This is something a healthy marriage needs anyway.  This way you both know where you stand.   Ultimatums only work if you are willing to follow through, and if he feels too pressured he may resent you.  But a sit down talk about your future is healthy.

Answer

I had to do this with my bf of 6 yrs. He kept procrastinating n being lazy a few things happened that got him going. He wants kids and that had to happen before I was 30(My personal choice). And my little brother had gotten engaged n planned there wedding the same yr I was turning 29. So time got tight. He finally proposed in December of 2013 and we got married 8 months later and are aiming for babies this summer. I think you should make out a rough plan of how you'd like things to go and see if it helps him understand the rime it takes to get engaged and then Plana wedding and then feel ready for children and how that even takes 8 months. That's like 3 yrs of life events right there ya know!? Maybe he'll get a different view of it n realize he's rly gotta shit or get off the pot. But don't do it in a crazy detailed plan, lol. Just a rough estimate. And see how he feels.

Answer

If you force him it will never work... You're ONLY 28, there's still plenty of time for engagements, weddings and babies. No need to rush. I know it's easier said then done, but let him propose because he wants to propose not because you made him.

Answer

Im 28 and I just broke up with my boyfriend for the same reason. 28 is almost 30 and I told him im not popping out babies well into my 30s. I have 2 children from a previous marriage.

Advice on what to do about my boyfriend?

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