I recently just got out of a two year relationship, so ofc my ex is still there for me and we're on good terms and clearly not over each other. But tonight my sisters friend stayed over and her friend always cuddles with me and he asked if he could sleep with me (sleep sleep not sex) and I said yeah and one thing led to another and he started fingering me. I kept telling him I can't I can't it's too soon and he just kept saying it's ok it's ok we can still be friends no one has to know and then he ate me out and I kept saying his name and that I can't but he kept going and I wasn't gonna hit him or anything because like I don't know man I just couldn't and then he fckn took his penis out and I felt like the tip ya know so I was like OH FUCK IS THAT A DICK so I reached down there and like kinda nudged it out of the way and I was like jesse I really can't I really can't! And then he didn't insert it and just asked why and I told him it's too soon and I'm crying and freaking out and like my ex has been there for me for the past two years so of course my initial reaction is to call him and tell him and him to be there for me but I don't know I don't wanna tell him because what if we get back together :/ I'm afraid he's gonna have to go down on me like before but this time he'll think about another dude was here :( I'm so ahh I'm so sorry :( I feel so disgusting and like :((( nobody's answering my calls but it is 3 AM but fuck man :(( was it technically rape? I'm not gonna file anything or anything but shit man.. and my ex man omg how would he react :// idek if I should tell him and if we get back together even then I don't know if I'd ever tell him because of the fact that he might never see my body like before :( I'm so scared man wth