My baby was born 3 days ago and I know baby blues etc. I was sick with my pregnancy right up until after delivery. I had iron infusions and other drugs as well as constantly throwing up. In labour I tore (3rd degree) so basically from back to front. I have stitches and my tummy muscles have separated. I am usually a cold person as in I find it hard to connect with people (I feel it's due to my mum wanting nothing to do with me) anyhow my husband is very loving and caring and on day 1 & 2 he was great but is now exhausted also and tired and probably having his own thoughts and emotions.. I feel like I am

Not having that connection with my son that I should and therefore not

Bonding as I cannot sit up I can barely stand without falling over which then makes it hard to shower, diaper change or burp baby. Any suggestions or does anyone else feel like this ?? I feel I have no one to talk to about this and I'm not sure what to do. The only thing that is working well is breastfeeding which I am so happy with but being a FTM my nipples are now so cracked and sore even that now is becoming a problem. Please help! 

****update**** 

First of all thank you so much to you ladies for all your support and encouragement, it really has helped to read this. I think we have made a small break through. It's amazing what a little venting can do. 

Breastfeeding - I think I may have being a little poorly educated (sounds silly I know) but my nipples weren't cracked, rather sore and and sensitive/tingly due to milk coming in yay! (Due to loosing so much blood they thought this may take longer) and also due to my nipples never been sucked before. I have being applying plenty of nipple cream and the pain has improved so much. 

Tearing - apparently it's looking great and healing okay - still sore but just constantly icing it and keeping up my medication. Does anyone know if this sort of care is common? 

Muscle separation - I have the appropriate under garments and working with a physio so this should be an issue. 

Blood pressure - I was able to actually shower my self last night for the first time (holding on) but managing to not get super dizzy thisnis huge considering I haven't been able to get out bed for days. 

I didn't need to wake my husband and I am so proud of my self (has brought back some confidence) 

I feel blessed that at this stage my baby boy is so well behaved and I am going to try some skin to skin contact as that is a great idea! 

Thank you so much to you all once again!