My Husband & I have 3 kids, ages 6, 8, & 10. We've been married 8 yrs, together 10 total. We live on separate sleep schedules since he works nights. We're in our 30's, in good health, but our relationship is seriously struggling emotionally/intimately. I've talked myself to death to him trying to understand why he isn't open to me emotionally or very giving of loving touches, kisses/hugs, etc. on a daily basis. I mention to him I wish we could have fun, laugh, be more intimate, etc. like we used to & immediately he shuts down. He gets testy with me. We had a miscarriage last October & since then, nothing between us has felt right. We used to be so in sync, openly honest, & we were a team. Lately, He has accused me of not pleasing him sexually when I've tried to talk to him about things. Since we started being intimate again after the miscarriage, it's not been good. I've been undecided on if I want to try for another (our last) baby. He hasn't talked to me about how he feels regarding anything besides that he'd like to have one more baby but it's up to me since I'm the one who has to carry it. It makes me so frustrated because I don't think I want to but he is kind of making me feel like he's putting pressure on me to make the final decision all alone...I really feel so blessed for our 3 wonderful children God has already blessed us with & for our last baby too despite the pain, grief & loss. It was my first ever pregnancy complication & miscarriage. Currently, it has been 3wks without sex, he works, sleeps, & watches tv/sometimes interacts with our kids. I personally think he might be depressed & grieving but he denies anything is wrong when I try to talk to him. He is totally disconnected from me & blames me saying that I don't initiate sex with him. I'm not sure what I can do to break up the silence & get through his negativity, to get things back to good for us both. When we've had sex, we started with foreplay then intercourse, he gets off first & the last 2 times he has left me unsatisfied & waiting. He said he needed to get some sleep the first time, rolled over & totally disregarded my feelings completely. The last time, I ended up getting him off by massage/hj because the condom we used began to get uncomfortable for me on top & too stretched out. Instead of him taking any action to switch condoms/position, or to pleasure me, he got off & afterwards got dressed saying we needed to go get some things done that we had planned for the day. I told him both times he left me hanging during sex but he said he was sorry & continued on like no big deal. I feel like I'm being completely ignored by him physically & emotionally. I've asked him if he's still attracted to me or if I did something to make him hate me. He said I was over analyzing things & that of course he still found me attractive. I'm not even sure why things have became this bad because I haven't done anything to provoke him or done anything that would cause him to act this blatantly selfish towards me. I even initiated sex the last time & it turned out to be a waste of time apparently. Anyone have any suggestions/advice for me? I'm totally ready to just give up. :(