Vent *possible trigger*

Rach • Mommy to a 7yo 👧🏼 and new born 👶🏼 boy

I am having one of those, "I know it wasn't timed perfectly but I feel like last time I was pregnant" moments. You know, where you feel like you are insain because chances are your not pregnant but you want to be so badly that everything makes you think and say "what if?" in your head. I am waiting a day hoping if my spotting is just implantation spotting that it will go away and I can test. But something in my head just keeps screaming "your not pregnant". There is always next month, and the one after that but I'm just starting to get so frustrated. Last time it was the wrong guy and the wrong time (I wasn't trying I was just going and stupid thinking I wouldn't get pregnant). This time my hubby is my forever, my heart and such an amazing step-father who has always wanted to have kids but has waited until he was with a forever girl to go down that road with out protection. We have been trying and trying but haven't succeeded, he thinks maybe it's him but chances are it's me. I have an irritable uterus, with and without pregnancy. They were surprised I was able to carry full term with my only birth and told me it is why I have had as many miscarriages as I have. I just want to hold a new born in my arms again and know that my body created it's fingers, toes and everything in between. I hope I will again someday even if it isn't soon. I will never completely lose hope but right now it's over a small hill, in which I do not have the energy to climb over right now.

Baby dust to all the women trying right now to get pregnant.