Discussions before marriage?

Question

Ok, I'm thinking I'm getting closer to wanting to marry my boyfriend, which means we need to iron out some things before we jump into a lifelong commitment with each other.

Please tell me all the things we should discuss and have figured out before getting married (ranging from where we live, how we split money, if we circumcise our boys or not, who gets our future children if we die, etc.)!

I realized tonight that we haven't talked about everything yet! Give me all you got so I can make sure we talk through all the important things :)

Answer

Things that are important to you whether it's religion, political views.. if you both even WANT to have kids down the road. Hypotheticals like "What if our child is gay? What if our child has deformities?" And if you don't live together yet, please do not get married. Living together shows someone's colors youve never seen before.

Answer

I think as PP said, living together shows you a side of the person you don't otherwise see. Also hypotheticals might root out some topics of controversy but I think the bigger factors are, how do you two adapt as a couple over time since two adults will naturally constantly change as they grow? Do you grow apart or closer together? And how do you handle conflict when it arises? That's something you need to see in action... no one should marry without first tackling a big issue that they can't agree on so you know if you two are able to compromise when you don't want to. Just my 2c.

Answer

Pre-marital counselling would help with this!

Answer

Discuss where you both envisioning settling down. I will never move from the state I live in and I made that clear to my husband before we got married. Good thing is he never wants to leave either! But I've seen this scenario really fuck with marriages because one person had dreams to live somewhere the other person didn't

Discussions before marriage?

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