I think i may have been sexually abused as a child

I am 18. All my life I've battled with, depression, anxiety, self-harm, personality disorders, substance abuse (starting at the age of 15). I have never been able to emotionally open up to anybody. I know for a fact I was raped when I was 15, and then sexually abused by many other men the next few years after that. Even though sometimes I let it happen because it was the only way I thought I would feel loved or something. I started masturbating at around age 4-5, I remember getting pinworms almost twice a month until I was 8-9, even though I was particularly cleanly. And I also used to "act out" and lay my cousins on me with my legs open to get pleasure when I was younger. My physical symptoms since I've gotten older are: irregular pap smears several times, I have strange "missing parts" in my childhood. I remember me and my best friend when we were 6, in the bathroom, naked and all I remember was that I was by a heater. Like, I can't remember things. At all. I was a bedweeter until I was in 7th grade. ..... What does anybody think???