Hi 👋 everyone. Just want to vent a little I'm super anxious and depressed alllllll of the time. I've been through some rough times lately! I lost a baby last year. And had a miscarriage this year. Before that I have always been depressed and anxious about everything. And I'm currently off sick long from finding employment but my note for tvOS ends in September and I'm terrified of having to find something. Obviously I understand I can be off sick forever but it just so anxious and scared. I don't have a lot of qualifications so before I was on sick I tried to apply for loads of different ones. Restaurants. Caring. Hotel work. Everything really and I never got anything I know it takes time sometimes to get work but I'm scared I'll just never get anything. My anxiety and depression majors it hard to be around lots of people or having to meet new people talk to them I'm just a massive bag of nerves. If I have to go out places before I go out I get and upset stomach severely sweaty hands and feet. I find it difficult to catch my breath and I often throw up 🤢 all from just knowing I have to leave my home. I don't sleep well since loshe my my babies I have very terrible nightmares of everything that happened when losing them I'm generally just so lost and miserable 😭 I know there is tons worse going on in life. But honestly I find it some hard to smile. If my partner sees me upset he will say "why the fu*k are you grumpy for" but I'm not grumpy I'm sad and anxious and depressed there's a difference!! I've recently asked him for support because I want help applying for part time work maybe a cleaner or something that's not too extreme in the sense of having to deal tons of people. But he said no 😩 I asked politely too. I told him I'm feeling very scared and anxious about it all and he just said "oh well you will be ok" but I don't feel like I will be. I'm not hugely close to my family and I don't have friends for help 😩 I just want to feel better. I just want to have a good day and not feel terrified about absolutely everything. Even simple things like someone knocking my door like the delivery man sends me over the edge. I really don't know what to do anymore