So first a little of background. I have BPD (borderline personality disorder). And I have a loving wonderful boyfriend. Right now we are in a long distance relationship. But I'm going to move closer to him this year. Anyway, it's not sure that I can live near him for a long time because of visa and residence issues​, so he told me "hey, it would be great to get married so you don't have to worry about the visa things". I was very happy, and since marrying abroad requires a lot of paperwork I started immediately, doing so overwhelmed him. And the other day he told me that he wasn't sure about marrying, he still loves and thinks it's a good idea to bring the documents in case we decide to get married. But I got very upset!! And very sad. I asked to decide whether he wants or not, because this "not being 100% sure" really hurts me. I'm ok if he doesn't want to, I understand, but the indecision drives me mad. He thinks my reaction it's because I'm BPD, but I argue that the reaction it's normal, the only thing it's that I don't know how to explain why I feel so sad. Please give me some comments and opinions.