Do you ever wonder if your SO will ever be ready for trying to have a baby?

Question

My husband is 30. I'm 31. We don't have any kids but we both want at least one or two. He says he wants to try for a baby this year, but I'm not sure if he is just saying that because he knows that I don't want to wait much longer. He has a very critical father and he also suffers with depression and having enough confidence to look for a better paying job. I just worry that he may never really be "ready."

Answer

My SO has said to me he wants kids with me in the future 😊 i cant wait to see what our love creates 👫👶💕💙

Answer

My mother and father are both extremely critical parents (even in my 30's), but at the same time supportive. This is only because I decided one day to make my own decisions, and make those decisions to make myself happy regardless of how others felt. It wasn't easy because high expectations were ingrained on a daily basis almost since birth so it's a battle with oneself indeed, but what helps A LOT is a supportive partner.

Sit down, speak with him and ask him how he's truly feeling about starting a family. Ask about his concerns and fears about life in general. Take it one day at a time and he should come through.

Answer

My husband has Bipolar disorder so I can understand where you are coming from. I would definitely talk to your hubby more about having kids and when to start trying and names.
My husband has finally decided he wants a kid, but only after we buy this house that's being built right now. (We're on contract they just have to finish building it and we get to go through escrow and all that) so I'm very excited and talk to my husband about baby stuff all the time! Everything from "do you want to do beauty pageants?" To "what kind of talents do you think our kid will have?" It's a fun way to find out how he thinks about children since in the beginning of our relationship he didn't want anything to do with children!

Answer

If I was in his shoes and suffered from depression and confidence issues (not intense want to hurt myself depression, that a different issue), I would be heart broken if my SO didn't think I was ready when I said I am. If you love him enough to consider having a kid with him, then you love him enought to trust him when he says he is ready. Creating a baby takes two, if he is ready to go, and your questioning him, maybe your not ready. I hope that did not come off as mean. Consider discussing your feelings about his depression and confidence but don't link it to having a baby. It could really hurt him.

Answer

My ex husband and I got married at 23, we did all the talking and planning and wanted at least 4 kids. Unfortunately, he also suffered from  major anxiety, depression and non-existent self esteem. So he decided he wanted to wait and "get established" financially and job wise (absolutely understandable). Then all is a sudden we were 27 and discussing kids again, this time we were very established but he wanted to travel because "you can't take kids anywhere". At 28 we discussed it again because we weren't/hadn't travelled anywhere, and he said "I think we should wait until we're 40. I compromised and said 30. Well, 30 came and went, I tried to bring it up and he said he decided he didn't want children anymore. I was heartbroken and it eventually lead to our divorce. Silly enough he moved he girlfriend in the weekend after I left him and they had a baby by the end of the year. He now has two children with his new wife.

Do you ever wonder if your SO will ever be ready for trying to have a baby?

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