Is this his way of dealing...?

Question

I've just recently had a miscarriage... my fiancé keeps telling me that we just need to keep moving forward... that we should just keep trying that we didn't even know we were pregnant... but the thing is.. just because I didn't know doesn't mean it hurts any less... I feel like my hearts been ripped from my chest... I just want to be sad about it and I feel like he's not sad at all... is this his way of dealing with this..?

Answer

Men and women grieve differently. It's difficult for them to feel the "bond" when, visually there isn't anything "to see." It, in my experience, helps them to process grief much "easier" than women do. Especially as they can see beyond to what's next and want to reach those goals with you, like trying again to have another child.

For us though, in most cases, we had a tangible physical bond that bound us to our babies. We were growing this human and we're trying to provide the best life for them while we had them strictly under our bodies care. There emotional aspects of that is something our partners will never understand and is what takes so much of our energy to process in grief.

Last Thursday at my 9 week appointment, we found out I had suffered a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks. I was devesgated and the worst part was that I didn't even know. For two whole weeks I carried around my sleeping child and never knew. What kind of mother was I? And the first words out of my husbands mouth was hat we could try again. I just didn't appreciate it. Yes logically I know we can try again, but I'm suffering from a loss of a child. My job was to protect and feed this baby and I failed. Even though I know, again logically, that it was nothing I did, that it was nature and a chromosomal issue. That didn't make what he said any easier.

My advice is to talk to him. Tell him how you feel and to be honest that you need time to grieve, even if he was able to get through his grief "faster" than you.

Answer

Men will never be as emotionally attached to. A baby because they don't carry them like us women do. They don't feel their kicks and punches. And men are problem solvers. So his solution is make another baby. It's logical yes, but some people need more time to heal and mourn

Is this his way of dealing...?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey