How to move on

Kayla
On February 15, 2017, I had a miscarriage at home. I thought I was having my normal period at first (my periods are about 8 days long and always heavy after the 1st day). I was about 4-5 days into my bleeding and nursing my now 14 month old in bed.
The "period cramps" just kept getting worse and I suddenly thought I wet myself. I jumped up, leaving my baby sleeping there in bed.
I miscarried shortly thereafter and found a placenta and my tiny, approximately 7 week old baby in the toilet.
I've had a consistent period every month since then, but this latest period was late and I'm almost having a ptsd reaction wondering if it was an early miscarriage again. 
Every time I see a pregnant woman or hear someone complaining about their child, I want to cry and say "But I should be pregnant with my 2nd still..."
It took nearly 6 years to conceive my 1st, so getting pregnant with a 2nd child was quite unexpected. I REALLY wanted that baby, even though I literally had no idea I was pregnant before I miscarried... I hate that I had to say goodbye before I even knew s/he existed.