I really have no one to turn to and I hope you lady's can give me an advice 

We lost our virginity together, we have a dog together and I get along with his parents and he gets along with my parents also. 

When I started college (1 1/2years ago) I've notice that we were arguing constantly and a lot more tension in our relationship. He gets frustrated and mad but he doesn't express it until we are alone. And when I do notice that he is mad, I can't have a conversation with him. He completely ignores me and tells me "don't talk to me right now, I am mad". I understand that you need to let a person cool down but he just stays like that for hours and I'm completely ignored during those hours. And it's often. 

Then we had a little problem with my friends being to close to me and me hanging out with them was a problem. I never had a single problem with him hanging out with his friends. If he had to go somewhere with his friends last minute, then go ahead and do whatever you want as long it doesn't get you in trouble with the law or dangerous. 

I couldn't take it anymore. So I broke up with him about 3 months ago. But it was hard! Having shared almost 8 years of your life with someone and then they are gone. It's really hard. 

After a week, he came to me and said he understands how I feel and he should have done better. And the little things matters and my happiness matters. He said if I could give him one more chance and would make everything better.  And I said yes. 

The first month went smooth like butter. No arguments, no problems. Second month, tiny arguments here and there. Third month, it felt like nothing had change. 

He's not a bad person but I just feel like we are use to each other that nothing doesn't matter anymore. 

A week ago I got invited to sleep over my friends house let's call them Kelly & Rita. 

Rita invited me sleep over her house and that Kelly was going to be there and we are having a girls night. 

I told my boyfriend I was going and he was telling me not to go. Because I honestly told him that we might drink at her house and he got mad. I don't understand why he would get mad. I am responsible enough to take care of myself. Even my friends thought I was going to bail out last minute because of him. 

I ended up going. 

Last minute surprise, my friends informed me to get ready for the club. I have never set foot on a club or a party. I rarely go out to places. And I couldn't tell my boyfriend about it because we would have ended up in a vey ugly situation. I didn't tell him. 

I went to the club and it was so overwhelming but new. I felt like a rebel. Like a 15 year old sneaking out of the house for the first time. 

 I don't know how to dance so I didn't grind with anyone. But just have conversations. I only had one interacting with this one guy and his group. It was kinda perfect because it was 3 of us and 3 of them. This guy lets call him Derick was having conversations with me. We laughed, we danced (not grinding) and it was fun. 

I was offered drinks and I said yeah why not. Had 2 beers, I was feeling rebellious. 

He then started to get a little more flirtatious and I was liking it. He would pull me in towards him but I would push away but oddly I liked it. And I know I shouldn't because I have a boyfriend. Almost went to a point that we almost kissed but it didn't happened because my friends pulled me out of it. 

I don't feel bad about it. 

I went to Rita's house and I wanted to smoke weed because I just wanted to go all out. I had the best sleep afterwards lol. 

I had the best nights of my life and no one told me no. 

So I am at this point where I think I should really end this relationship. Because I know my feeling for him are not there and I'm just afraid to be alone. And I also want freedom. I'm not ready for this commitment anymore. I felt like I was cheated out of a part of a world I've never seen. 

But "it's never a right time to say goodbye". I don't know how and when to break up with my boyfriend?

Am I wrong to feel this way?