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Frustrated & Hopeless TTC

Mo • Tue, Jun 27

I just want to cry. I stopped my birth control pills April 15th (this year) and my husband and I have been actively trying to get pregnant.

I had my first REAL (hardcore) period May 9 through the 15th. Then it arrived again a week earlier than expecting, and it started like a dark brown on June 2nd and ended the 7th. Then we tried some more.

We were REALLY hoping to be pregnant, especially when I started spotting yesterday. Brown again, this time a different consistency. It even stopped after an hour yesterday. And now...it came back this morning. No red, still brown. But now it's looking like I'll be getting my period every 25 days. 😭 I hope this is just spotting from implantation but I'm losing hope.

My husband's a smoker and I've been TRYING to get him to quit but he says all his buddies got their wives pregnant while they were smoking so he doesn't see the issue.

I'd like to get him tested for any problems as his older brother has low testosterone levels (though his brother weighs 260-280 lbs and my husband is all muscles and weighs 162-170). Do those tests go through a PCP or somewhere else? And did anyone's insurance cover it?

I was tested a few years back for PCOS as cysts run in the family and I don't have it. So I'm worried it's him. Or maybe it IS me.

Sorry for the rant. Has anyone else felt hopeless? I know we haven't been trying as long as others. I can't imagine what other women are going through who have been trying for YEARS. We really only want one child, unless we have twins.