People will tell you how hard being a mother is and all the sleepless nights you'll have because of a crying baby. They tell you that everything will change (in a negative way) and that your relationship with your S/O will change. No one told me that after a miscarriage those sleepless nights are not spent holding a crying baby. They're spent crying silently while gripping your stomach. No one told me the pain I'd see when getting "your baby would be this big!" Updates. They dont tell you about the depression and not wanting to get up. They don't tell you about the matted, tatted hair because you're so exhausted to brush it. They don't tell you about your relationship changing because your S/O can't feel your pain because it wasn't in their body. I have ZERO support with my loss and it's really a fucking toll on my heart and body. If I can't have my child back I want to heal and have the pain go away.