Ever since my boyfriend broke up with me I can feel my heart tearing apart. My heartbeat is fast as hell and half the time I can't breathe. I want it to stop hurting. I think my heart is actually tearing apart and breaking. It hurts so much. I don't know what to do. It's killing me. I don't want to be here anymore. I've even lost weight. I'm 17 and 96 pounds. He was my first. First love, first time having sex, I love him still and I just want to hate him but I can't.