TW: suicide

I'm really considering therapy. It feels like something is wrong. Well I know there's something wrong, I've always had severe anxiety, it makes it hard to hold down a job which leads to horrible bouts of depression & suicidal thoughts. But like other than that.. I've researched BPD and relate to a lot of it, except I'm less impulsive- at least around people I know bc of social anxiety. I relate to "high functioning" (Ugh i hate how that sounds) BPD a lot more.

I've brought up my anxiety to my mom & she calls me childish & tells me I'm just doing it for attention. And she gave me a number and told me to call my old pediatrician, I'm 21 years old... he's a sports doctor/ pediatrician??? I'd just like to be taken seriously. My brother also says i just pity myself too much.. & my friends have told me it's not that bad. But no one knows the extent bc I keep it to myself so much, I write it down but that's it.

idk.. am I being ridiculous? Should I consider therapy? Or??