I am turning 21 next year and by this point in my life I was expecting to have a solid friend group or perhaps a few best friends to share it with. The reality is vastly different. As I have grown older I have lost many friends and have not gained any. I don't have a best friend, let alone or few close friends. I only have my boyfriend. I will admit, I have made a few surface level friends who I hang out with before class or study with occasionally but they are too different to me to ever become good mates. Not to mention, I never seem worth it to hang out with them, as I always see them out with others. My family think I have friends, as they've seen a few photos of the two times a year I actually get invited out. Little do they know I don't actually talk to those people much or even overly enjoy their company. I just want a friend who will want me equally, go clubbing or casual drinks with me but is also happy to stay at home and watch Netflix all day and talk shit ya know..... So basically, when I turn 21 I will have absolutely no friends to share it with, no memories to laugh about, no embarrassing speeches to sit through. I won't have a single friend to show for myself. This means that I can't have a 21st party to celebrate or my family will realise I have no one to invite, then they will pity me. I have taken a step back in the hopes that friends will just come with time-that didn't work. I put myself out there and started conversations with people-that also didn't work. I have even joined clubs. I do not know what else I can possibly do to make friends, this leads me to believe it is my personality that is the problem. I'm starting to feel depressed and anxious and constantly question why the hell these people do not like me. University life has become really shit in that regard...I am always getting told that maybe I don't fit in here in anywhere..... But surely, out of the 1.3million people in my city, there should be someone I fit in with? 

Excuse the rant, just had to share my burdens