Feeling happy instead of jealous.
One of my best friends from high school (no longer best friends, but recently reconnected) just had a beautiful baby girl. She had an emergency c-section due to severe preclampsia.
When I saw that she had the baby I was surprised when I didn't feel any jealousy. I was purely happy for her. Her baby is beautiful and healthy after a really tough pregnancy. What a blessing that is.
I've discovered that feeling jealous isn't going to change when I become pregnant. It isn't going to speed things up and it just makes me feel guilty and bad about myself for thinking like that. While I certainly don't blame women for feeling jealous when everyone is getting pregnant around them and I feel that is totally natural, I just feel as if it is counterproductive for me.
Everyone else's journey is not my journey. No two people are the same and no two circumstances are the same. To compare myself to someone else and say, "She got pregnant. Why can't I? When will it be my time?" is like comparing apples to oranges.
It's actually a really big relief to be HAPPY for her instead of jealous. I felt like I would be instantly jealous, especially since it was an unplanned pregnancy. But, I'm not. And that makes me feel better about myself and it doesn't stress me out like being jealous does.
I'm trying to be a more positive person and look at life as the glass half full instead of half empty. I'm not judging anyone who does feel jealousy. That is your right and your feeling and no one can tell you that is wrong. I'm just saying that, for me, being happy for others is making a big difference overall in how I feel.
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