Im tired of my mom! Im tired of being controled by her, that she treats me like a little girl/teenager She is always complainig about my dad and regret everything shes done for him and she is always crying bcz of it. She controls my bank acc. She controls my time, if i want something i have to ask her to buy it for me or ask her for money. Im always with her, i take her to the hair salon, nail  salon, gym, doctors appointments, grocery store, shopping...she dont trust my dad bcz he cheat on her for so many many years they been marry for 36 yrs now (yeah im an "adult"now)  she depends a lot on me and my two brothers. I hate that my dad did all that to her bcz now we are paying the consequenses. Me and brothers have never had bf/gf But now that i found a man i love she hates him and hates me too. He is divorced ans has three adorable kids. She always say to me that im wastig my time with him and that im gonna ruin my life staying with him bcz of his kids. That he really dont love me and care about me. She makes a big drama every time i go out with him (usually every friday) she complains that i dont work enough, when the truth is that i have two jobs. I blame all of this to my dad bcz he really don change and i told her to kick him out but is scared of being alone and complain about not having economic support (i guess not having the nice goodies she is used to)  today im at home feeling with a lot of frustation and feeling angry, sad, i hate myself i hate my life!!! I just want to sleep and dont listen, see, anything else, Im afraid my bf will leave me someday bcz of it, and i dont blame him if it ever happens, i loose my virginity to him, he is kind and fun he says he loves me and will do anything for me, fight for me to be with him. He asked me to go out today with him and there was a huge argument/fight at my house bcz of it... he never come over to at least talk with my family (bcz i asked him for some help) I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY BUT IM AFRAID TO MAKE MY MOM SICK ....I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! bcz i have no life