cheating spouse

Corinne • 🚔 🚒 TTC • Mommy of one & one angel 2017•08•10
4 days after I told my bf of three years that we were pregnant, I found out that he did not go to "work" up north but went on a romantic camping/canoeing trip with another woman for 5 days. Their phones were off the whole time.
He denied anything between them, saying she's just one of the guys. She is an EMS worker and firefighter along side with my guy. He's been telling me that him and I are done though and that he wants nothing to do with the "fucking thing" (baby). He told me to kill it. 
This coming 2 months after we talked about marriage and having children together and that he'd never leave me.
To top it off, the other woman started spreading rumours around everyone that we know saying that my guy and I broke up months ago and that I'm just a psycho ex. Wtf.
There's so much more to what's happening but I feel so broken and humiliated. He didn't show to my first dr appointment to confirm the pregnancy and part of me is hoping he comes to the ultrasound on the 21st. 
The obvious is to just "cut him out" completely but there's so much history and I think I still love him despite all the hurt. I'm scared to do this on my own.
9 weeks today 💕